Her heart had been so badly broken, that her spirit was shattered. Her self-worth was in the toilet… a filthy, virulent, gas station toilet. It was bad. Really, really bad. After he (who shall remain nameless) left her for her best friend (former best friend- that bitch doesn't get named either) she really had lost all hope of love, of romance and of the belief that she would ever love again- or worse, that anyone would ever love her. She felt doomed. There wasn't enough chocolate, weed, or wine in the world to help her get through this Valentine’s Day. She just couldn't deal with life. She decided that she wouldn't leave home. She would stay indoors and hide- like a secret abortion of love- hide from the world in her two bedroom (both empty) apartment in West Hollywood. Why would she leave? Why should she? She lived in the gayest, most homo neighborhood in the country anyway. It was all so useless.
At least she had her cat- Timmy, her Tabby, with one green eye and one brown eye. His affection and hypnotic purr always made her feel a bit better. But today, she ran out of Frisky treats and even Timmy wanted nothing to do with her.
She decided to take it to social media.
“Hi Facebook- I know its Valentine’s Day, but I hate my life right now. Love sucks. Everything sucks. Even my cat hates me. Malerie.”
And before she could read it back to herself, to make sure she didn't sound like too much of a pathetic loser, her pinky finger went rogue and clicked the POST button all on it’s own.
“WHAT THE FUCK!” She screeched. “Ok- I can edit it…” so she clicked on the EDIT button, but clicked on the wrong one- so she actually clicked the “share PUBLIC” button instead. “SHIT! God Damn it! I am such an asshole!”
“Ok, breath…” she commanded herself… “Breath Malerie… Go here… and click and re open… click…”—— and she was in the post. “Ok- upper corner, edddd…” and just as she was about to click the correct edit button, a comment came in… from Shalom Rochet.
“Shalom Rochet? What a name. Who the hell is that?”
“Dear Malerie. I think you are beautiful. I would like to wish you a Happy Valentine’s Day. Don’t hate life. love it and love me. With hopeful and expectant passion, Shalom.”
“Aghhhhhh!” Malerie’s heart dropped. “Who IS this nut job?!” She chipped at her fuchsia nail polish to relieve her neuroses, remembering that her Vietnamese manicurist said it was called “Don’t Know…Beets Me”. How fucking appropriate.
PING! another comment…
“And no, Im not crazy.”
Now she was a bit spooked. Could this nut job be reading her mind?
“Who is he?” She clicked on his name and opened his profile. Her jaw hit the floor. His wavy black hair, green eyes (both- not one, like Timmy) and sun-kissed brown skin, perfect white teeth and sculpted shirtless shoulders made her girly parts quiver in her seat.
“Isreal? Awwwww shit! Figures!”
She pauses for a moment, staring at his beautiful photo…
PING….Another message. It’s him again.
“Can we Face Time?”
“No… I don't know you. We can’t face time.” She worried about tone and text and really didn't want to sound like the bitch she was.
“Ok, we can just talk here then?”
“Ok.” she concedes.
“I think you're beautiful.”
Her face got as warm as her girly bits…“I think your crazy!”
“I already told you, I’m not crazy. Why do you have to be like that?”
“Like all of the doctors.”
“Who say I’m crazy delusional.”
She freezes…. He really IS crazy? This is some freaky shit!
He continues… “I’m really not.”
Is he reading her mind again? Paranoid and panicked, she can’t muster the strength to type a word.
But he does…
“I just believe in love. I believe that love is everything. It’s the air we breathe; the food we eat; it’s God. And it’s gravity. Yes, gravity —Einstein said so— because it draws us closer together. So I don't believe the doctors, I believe in love… and I believe I love you Malerie…and you could love me too, if you give me a chance. Will you please give me a chance? Love is all you need. It can’t get any worse, right? You already hate your life. What if you could love it— and me too?
Malerie was at once terrified and touched by him. “Love is all I need? A Beatles reference?! Ayayay.” She felt a bit dizzy. She took a deep breath to muster up her courage and began to type…
“Ok. Shalom… I’ll give it a chance. Let’s talk here for a while and see where it goes. I know you are far away and in Isreal…”
“I’m actually not in Isreal. Oh m love, I have to go! We just went into lock down! I have to go back to my cell. I love you Malerie!”